Finley's Footprints

Sometimes I am relieved when tomorrow becomes yesterday.  It is only then, when you look back on it from the neutral point of today, that you realise you had been dreading it.

The particular tomorrow that I had been dreading was Mothers Day 2010.  I have relaxed a little now that Mothers Day 2010 is yesterday.  I had not realised how much of my thoughts had been taken up with worrying about it.  I have had some different experiences of Mothers Days.  Of course until 2008 my main experiences of Mothers Day had been making cards at school for my Mum, then as time moved on buying presents and cards for her.  Once I left home it became the annual fight with my memory to recall the correct Sunday and free up enough time to take a card and some liquorice all sorts over there.

In 2008 my experience of Mothers Days suddenly changed.  I found out I was pregnant the day before Mothers Day.  I remember sitting on our bed with my husband surrounded by 5 pregnancy test kits, in a state of dazed excitement.  Sadly even that Mothers Day is tinged with sadness as just a few days later I started bleeding, and had to go through the roller coaster of emotions during all the different tests that eventually were to tell me that it would be a miscarriage, that we would lose our baby.

Of course Mothers Day 2009 was a sad day, also filled with a little hope.  Mothers Day 2009 found me sporting the beginnings of a little football shaped bump as we were 5 months pregnant with Finley.  I sadly thought of the baby that should have been, as I cradled my bump and dreamed of what would be.  I had recieved a card from the bump (which we had called flump!).

That brings us to Mothers Day 2010.  For a few weeks before I had tried to put it to the back of mind, rather unsuccessfully as every time you walk into a shop there are big banners saying things like “Treat your Mum on March 14th” in big pink letters.  It was such a strange feeling to be approaching a day, which in other lives would begin with me having breakfast in bed, and opening presents and cards and having a big squishy cuddle with my baby, while laughing at the toddler trying to climb on the bed.  This time I had recieved a card from a friend with a lovely poem inside it, written from my angels.  A lovely thought, from someone who realised that the day would be tough and wanted to take some of the pain away.

Even though you’re down below,
and we are up above.
We’re sending you our wishes
and all our angel love

Its really quite exciting,
to plan this big event,
for lots of gifts will come your way
and all are heaven sent.

First we’ll take a bubble bath,
our splashes might cause some rain.
But knowing all the fun were having
will help to ease your pain.

We have color crayons in heaven,
and we’ll draw some stars so bright.
and place them in the sky today
for you to see tonight

Then Jesus will have story time,
and we will sit upon his lap.
He’ll tell us all about you,
just before we take a nap.

We’ll awake full of energy,
and play a game or two.
Before we finish sending
all our love to you.

After snack we’ll write a song,
for all the birds to sing.
And know we’ve made you happy,
with all the joy it brings .

At night we’ll be tired,
but we’ll still hold you tight.
Our arms will wrap around you
and keep you through the night.

And when you finally slumber
we will kneel and pray.
Asking god to bless you,
on this special mothers day.

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