Saying Hello Before You Say Goodbye

When you are given the news that your baby has died, it’s a shock. It’s hard to understand how it is possible, why it has happened, why it has happened to you. You have to say goodbye to your baby before you have even met. And it’s unfair.

They haven’t had a chance to grow, you haven’t seen their first smile or heard their first word. You haven’t walked them down the aisle or waved them out of your front door to their own home and family. The senseless waste of all those years hits in moments.

But there is an alternative way to consider the situation. You don’t have to say goodbye yet.

You will meet your baby. Take the chance to slow things down a little.

You can say hello before you have to say goodbye.

The moments that you spend with your baby will remain with you for many years to come. Most parents find that their memories and keepsakes from this time are comforting and very precious to them. It may be difficult to imagine meeting your baby, you might be worried about what to expect or about what other people may think or feel.

The most helpful piece of advice I received was that you have moments to make a lifetime of memories and you don’t get a second chance.

I have very few regrets about my time with Finley, which has been a great help to me in my healing. One of the saddest things I hear is when a parent says to me “I didn’t know I could have done x,y,z with my baby” – and they can’t turn the clock back.

So, I have decided to make information about ways you can say hello to your baby available to you. I hope that you find it helpful. Please consider the ideas presented and utilise, or build upon any that feel right.

Over the following pages we’ll share ideas with you, our experiences and memories, tips and strategies.