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Plea:

Hello everyone

Firstly it is a pleasure and a privilege to be nominated for a Butterfly Award- Birth Professional by Julie Guerny.
My name is Jackie Davies; I have been a midwife for 30 years now (where did that time go). During that time I have worked at several hospitals from Midwifery led units to busy huge hospitals. I have even served in the Armed Forces. I have been at George Eliot for 16 years now.

During that time I have had the honour to be involved with many bereaved families during their time with us I got involved with bereavement work when a colleague who took the lead with families who were bereaved retired. She had experienced a still birth and I was witness to her ongoing loss 30 years down the road. She was key in me realising that we only have a short window of time in which to make a lifetime of memories. Years ago these babies were lost both in flesh and in memory. It was not spoken about and these families suffered in silence.

I and Emma Bennett my link colleague decided that we were not going to let that happen. We have strived to ensure that these babies are celebrated, loved and cared for by loving families for as long as they can be. With the help of several bereaved families, we have ensured that those families have a safe quiet refuge to treasure, spend time with, care for unhurriedly and quietly with their babies.

The overriding thing that overwhelms me still is the generosity of families who have suffered a loss. We have had a cold cot donated by the Rygielski family in memory of Ryan, We have had a bereavement room furnished with fridge, coffee machine, TV and every thing to make it more like a home setting by The Barlow family, in memory of Ariana Hope Barlow, Gio and Chris Cook continue to fund raise tirelessly in memory of Sophia, to ensure we can have access to an open space/garden for our Bereavement room, in memory of Sophia.

Emma and I have forged many links with external agencies who are run by bereaved parents for bereaved parents, all in the name of memory making for other families even if they did not have access themselves to these services. Along with Emma, our chaplaincy lead Ricarda and the help of the Bereavement nurse Christie who lends us access to a quiet space, and the above families we have managed to get a Support group off the ground which meets once a month, we have a Face book page and a twitter feed too. Sophia will never be forgotten as she lends her name to the group. We have a private group so those who do not feel ready to join can dip their toe back into society and realise they are not alone in their loss. We have discovered that grief is isolating and know that talking with others who have undergone the same, similar experience can help each other.

Emma and I are delighted to say that the group has gone from strength to strength and is run by members itself now. We have a busy schedule up until Christmas with fetes, stalls and a party in the name of the babies we have had the privilege to love, hold, photograph, take footprints of dress and get involved in the care of these beautiful families.

We are now providing small tokens in the form of a memory bag and information leaflets to our A&E department to give to ladies that suffer miscarriages and we hope to get a designated area to provide these women with privacy and help. Each baby however many weeks has a lifetime of dreams from their parents let us acknowledge that/

We strive to make sure that these babies are not forgotten, we have a memorial garden with painted pebbles, ensure we get great photographs from Remember My Baby. A lasting legacy at our small Maternity Unit.

Professionally I hope we try to make the experience more bearable by educating our colleagues and making the transition back to home for the families a little easier by providing enough information without overwhelming them.

Emma and I have created a booklet for parents to read and dip into with information and support networks. We have also developed a booklet for our colleagues to ensure nothing is missed at this distressing time. We have great links with our local SANDS group and are striving to network more. 4Louis provide our memory boxes, Aching Arms donated beautiful bears and any fund raised monies go towards making our room more comfortable.

Sadly I have met many families, many of whom I have had the honour of being involved with the delivery of their Rainbow Babies. But we need to promote research and cut the numbers of this silent not talked about taboo subject.

Say their names and let us get it out there that this is unacceptable in this day and age to have these losses.

Thank you The Butterfly Awards for giving me the platform to show my commitment and for the chance to thank everyone for the nomination I am extremely proud.

What others have said:

Jackie was with her every step of the way, explaining what had happened, what was going to happen. Jackie has been a continued support to Gio and her husband and I would like to thank her very much. It really does take a special person to be a midwife, but to be a bereavement midwife this individual has gone above and beyond, doing a lot of work outside her working day/night.