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Plea:

In the beginning, the girl in the photograph that I attach to this page was the all smiling all confident all certain flyer. That was my wedding day in 2009 and what was to follow was supposed to be the natural progression from the day.

So what happened to us? Early in 2010 I fell pregnant quickly, our first pregnancy and we were blessed, naturally, with twin boys Vincenzo and Benedetto. Sadly our baby boys weren’t for keeping and were stillborn on the 7th January 2011 at 25+2weeks.

Then after those funerals we decided to try again, to ease the pain of our sons being taken away and I fell pregnant with our third baby and promised rainbow, another son. Tragically Gabriele also succumbed and was stillborn 9th October 2011 at 28 weeks. Then when our fourth son Santino was also stillborn on the 21st November 2012 at 26 weeks it never occurred to me to react in any other way.

I knew what the postmortem reports were detailing they were seeing a rare recurrent placenta condition called Chronic Histocytic Intervillositis, again not terribly well researched but with recurrent rates that made for poor reading. So I researched it and how the immune system worked. I networked with other Mothers who were diagnosed with the same, I authored papers that others can now take and present to their consultants when deciding next steps.

For us I also didn’t want to give up but decided that another pregnancy was off the cards. At that moment if I hadn’t started researching surrogacy I probably would never have met the lady which would then go on to carry our nearly three-year olds now. This opened a whole new avenue listening to other couples also looking into surrogacy and not knowing where to start.

So now, as well as raising our twin boys and working full time I also actively volunteer as a Befriender for TAMBA BSG, talk on midwifery training days about surrogacy and bereavement. Allow my story to be used in case studies and try to encourage anyone that will listen about how the role of the mother’s immune system needs to receive closer research.

Despite everything I want to show that if you want it then some of us just have to work harder than others to get it and
“Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.”

I was surprised to be nominated, here is what my wonderful midwife said.

“I’ve known Claudia for 5 years and supported her through 3 pregnancies and the loss of 4 sons.  Inspirational mother sums her up; from the organisation of the 1st funeral with ‘favour’ bags for every guest hand-sewn with butterflies, through researching her condition and sourcing potential treatments, to running a blog supporting other bereaved mothers, and finally embracing surrogacy.  Nothing but full knowledge will suffice, and she now empowers midwifery students by lecturing with me on bereavement and surrogacy.”

Mel, who runs The Butterfly Awards and regular training days for midwives, approached me about sharing my story as part of her study day. Here is what Mel said.

“Claudia is a wonderful Mother whose story inspires others. She generously shared the story and photos of her little boys, which helps to improve the care given to other parents through regular bereavement study days.  Where many parents may have lost hope, Claudia sought out alternatives to help her with her dream of holding her living children in her arms. Claudia went on to have beautiful twin boys, successfully through the use of a surrogate. I have directed many families to Claudia, who have concerns about their infertility, or have given up hope. I know that many take inspiration and hope from hearing her story.”

What others have said:

Nothing but full knowledge will suffice, and she now empowers midwifery students by lecturing with me on bereavement and surrogacy.