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My Plea:

Hi, my name is Matt. I’m writing this as someone in bewildered ore at having been nominated for a butterfly award in the Thank you category.

The nomination comes courtesy of an extraordinary woman called Frankie and to understand the nomination better, more first needs to be said about this inspirational lady.

Frankie’s daughter Esme was stillborn back in September 2013 after her heart stopped beating at 38 weeks. Frankie’s response to the loss of her daughter has been nothing short of incredible.

Since losing Esme, Frankie has selflessly dedicated herself to helping others within the baby loss community. This has included:
– Talking to midwives to help them be better prepared for helping parents with their loss;
– Applying to become a Sands bereavement trainer and securing a volunteering role for Lincolnshire County Council to deliver an Early Years Group (Sunshine and Rainbows) for families who have experienced the death of a child;
– Contributing extensively to the charity Joel – helping produce a leaflet for employers to support employees returning to work after losing a baby; as well as contributing to a BBC article on baby loss;
– Authoring the book ‘These Precious Little People’ – for children affected by the death of a baby during pregnancy or shortly after birth.

This has all been whilst having two rainbow babies (Jago and Ayla) with her amazing husband Mark – doing so with incredible bravery.

The list above also, I’m sure, only captures a fraction of what Frankie has involved herself with.

Outside of the baby loss community Frankie has also helped others, most notably me – her line manager at the time of her loss, on how to best support those going through the unimaginable. Her willingness to open up to me enabled me to understand, as best as I could, what she needed and what I might be able to do to help. It is ultimately for listening to this guidance that Frankie has chosen to nominate me for this award.

Receiving a nomination for a Butterfly award is a truly humbling experience and one that was not in the least bit expected. It also, in truth, is bizarre for someone like me who struggles to accept that they are worthy of any such recognition. But this is outstripped by the opportunity to offer further support to Frankie and the countless other brave and inspiring individuals who will forever be affiliated with the baby loss community and Butterfly awards. In accepting this nomination it is also my opportunity to thank the community for everything it has done to provide support to Frankie and for it helping to offer Frankie a path to support others.

Reading Frankie’s nomination was a truly humbling experience and accepting this nomination is truly achievement enough. I leave it to others to judge whether they think Frankie’s reasons for my nomination are worthy of any further recognition and will take this opportunity once again to thank everyone for everything they continue to do for this community.

What Other’s Have Said

“When my daughter Esme was stillborn back in September 2013 I was fortunate to have the most wonderful line manager. He helped me navigate returning to work, including advocating for me to have a phased return and counselling through my workplace. He never put pressure on me to do anything I wasn’t ready for, and was always willing to listen to me on days I was finding things tough. He was so supportive during my subsequent pregnancy as well, again being there for me on days I found more challenging than others, and helping me not expect too much of myself during such an emotionally challenging and physically draining time. He supported me again during my return to work from maternity leave after my son was born, recognising that it was not a simple transition because of the additional anxieties that come with parenting after loss. He has been so supportive of all that I’ve done outside of the workplace within the baby loss community since my daughter died as well. He has provided me with glowing references for the voluntary work I have sought, as well as paid employment positions I have pursued, all without questioning my commitment to the organisation we work for. He works tirelessly championing diversity and inclusion within our workplace and has been a great advocate for people like me who have faced mental health issues due to traumas in their life – our HR department has been less exemplary at times and he has been a wonderful link person to try and help them improve – not an easy feat when we work for a large central government body with ever changing personnel and procedures! His empathy and kindness has been nothing short of legendary – he has truly been the best line manager I’ve ever had – and although this is long overdue, I’d like to show my appreciation by putting him forward for this award. Thank you”