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My Plea:

It is a privilege to be nominated for such a prestigious award. I have followed the awards and the website but never thought I would be nominated.

Since the birth of my third son Kieran Alexander Simkiss in January 1992 and his subsequent sad death nine days later I have tried to live on in his name. He and my two surviving sons Matthew and Stuart and husband Kevin have been my inspiration. After Kieran died I needed to know I was helping others.

I did this by setting up our local Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (SANDS) group in April 1993. Unfortunately many parents have attended the group over the years and have told me I have helped them ‘go on’ and get through this agonising time. By providing the support parents are enabled to use their own strength which they doubt they will ever have again, to continue to live without their precious child. At this time parents are often unable to talk to their families and friends and so befrienders are the best support we can provide.

Because of this and the people we have helped I have gained the strength to go on, for myself and my family. I have learned so much from other people and have managed to change so many things within maternity services. One example is how we have often found graves of babies, especially those who died long ago for the families whose lives had been effected so much by being unable to grieve for their babies at the time. I recently received a message from one such couple who I have helped.

‘Maggie you are such an inspiration to US ALL, the work you do for SANDS is beyond words. You helped Howard and myself find our three baby boys. You gave us back what we had lost and now we can visit thier little gardens. Thank you for everything you have done, we love you with all our hearts, bless you. Diane Burton’.

Baby loss has often been the centre of my life for the past 26 years. In the early days of the Hull SANDS group it was just me and my family, I was a Befriendertraining and all of us were busy fundraising for equipment and things that would make a difference to children in special care and stillborn babies. It was sometimes really hard as I have always worked before and after Kieran was born and I was bringing up a young family.

I never thought about not doing the work and if I did find it difficult I thought about how it was for me and how being able to share Kieran made his death more bearable. Now we have a very responsive committee and robust training for befrienders, they are all full of ground breaking ideas, one example would be the amount of bereavement training we have done in the area for both qualified and trainee midwives. We have been the first group in the country to offer bereavement training to doctors, clergy, doulas and health visitors. During our awareness month we had an awareness stand in the city hall where professionals such as the police and ambulance staff asked if we could offer them training too.

This year is SANDS 40th Anniversary year, we in Hull did a massive awareness and fund raising campaign in June Awareness Month. Lots of local businesses were involved and we lit up many of Hull’s iconic landmarks in blue and orange SANDS coloured, to raise awareness. We placed a banner on the bypass into Hull which generated a call to ask for support.

I do not really know how to summarise, I can always talk/write endlessly of my life since out third son’s birth but I would like to say thank you to Rachel and Eszti my SANDS sisters for the nomination, to my family for putting up with endless fundraising, meetings and support I give to others without criticism. But mostly to Kieran for being my son and me having the opportunity to regularly say his name.

What others have said:

Maggie Simkiss –  

“Maggie and her husband Kevin lost their son Kieran at nine days old in 1992 to a rare genetic condition. Maggie set up the Hull and East Yorkshire branch of Sands in 1993. Since then the branch has gone from strength to strength. All of these fantastic things would not be happening were it not for the hard work and dedication Maggie brings. She is dedicated to her job as a Macmillan nurse as well and helps to raise 5 grandchildren, yet she still inspires others and always has time for anyone who needs help. She will often travel 30+ miles to visit bereaved families on her days off. Maggie must have helped thousands of families deal with their devastating losses.”