Name: Ashley Simons

Organisation:

Award Category: Inspirational Mother

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My Plea:

Many of us will be here with one thing in common, that somewhere along the road we have lost the most precious thing we could ever be given, a child. Whether it was an early loss, still birth, neonatal or later loss the pain remains in our hearts.

2 years ago we started our journey to parenthood with the help of IVF. After 3 failed attempts, miscarriage and having our funding removed we started to raise funds to have treatment in Prague. One final round in the summer of 2017, I conceived twins. I had a rocky pregnancy, which ended with me delivering my 2 beautiful twin girls at just 24 weeks. Esme Sârka was my angel, stillborn an hour before her sister. Isla Lenka entered the world with a fight- kicking the midwife as her tiny body was placed into a sandwich bag and whisked off to receive treatment. I knew in that moment our lives would change.

That night as I lay beside my beautiful angel and met Isla for the first time I made my girls a promise. That together with Isla we would change the world and keep Esme’s memory alive.

Throughout a rollercoaster 138 days in NICU, Isla proved many professionals wrong and on the 7th June 2018 we finally left hospital.
When there are days when I feel like giving up I think of Esme and she guides me. Since our discharge we have made it our aim to help and inspire others. What started as a small gesture to give back to the hospitals that helped us has now grown into becoming a registered charity and we now work with over 20 hospitals and 9 transfer ambulance teams across the UK. We provide care packages to parents in neonatal care, for siblings and for bereaved parents. Inside the care packages are essential toiletries that parents can use throughout their stay in hospital with their babies. We found that after spending a night in our bereavement suite we were unprepared and sadly the hospital couldn’t provide any form of toiletries for us to use.

We received a memory box but there was nothing to acknowledge that Esme’s twin sister was alive and we wanted to provide something so that she, and other siblings, can collect memories in for them both. Siblings can also feel left out during the chaos of life inside the NICU or following a loss, so they also have access to ‘activity packs’ to relieve some of the stress of visiting the hospital and to provide a sense of normality for the families. Our own research and discussions with mental health professionals has found that our packs are helping to ease some of the stresses related to being in hospital as well as promoting positive mental health and wellbeing.

Alongside the care packs, we also give talks and have set up multiple support groups in hospitals so that parents can share experiences and comfort each other in times of need. We have developed some strong relationships with lead consultants and charities who help towards our aim of making the neonatal journey somewhat easier- regardless of the outcome we want support available to all. We also donate gowns to our local funeral directors for babies born before term so that they can have a ‘proper’ service and look as beautiful as possible.

My work with the charity goes alongside my full time job as a special needs teacher and of course looking after Isla. Of course we have our good and bad days, often crippled by our grief, yet as I remind myself often: ‘Isla has never stopped fighting, so why should I give up’. We make our memories together and share our story and celebrate Esme’s memory wherever we can.

Everyone’s journey through loss is different. Mine is to remember by giving hope to others and that’s why we set out to form Isla’s Journey. It has become my passion and purpose to help others through their neonatal journeys and provide support when the outcomes are not positive.
With our angels looking over us I would like us all to remember our precious babies with a smile and know they will forever live on in our hearts. With them, anything is possible. They will never be forgotten.

What Others Have Said

My wife Ashley gave birth to twins at just 24 weeks. We sadly lost our first Daughter Esme but are thankful for our second daughter Isla.
Since Ashley had the girls she spent every day at the hospital by Islas side, while also keeping the home running smoothly and keeping me sane.  She has set up support groups at hospitals in london and essex and has started her own organisation to provide care packages to NICU families. She does this all to help others but is also an amazing mum to Isla.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6eUaTvog5c