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Providing support after the loss of a baby

My Plea:

Doodle Pop! Started when I was pregnant with my third child, Gabriel. I wanted to create a birth announcement mat for him, something I could take photos of him laying on and share with friends and family.
After showing this to a few friends, one asked me to create an initial doodle for her daughter, in a similar style to the birth announcement mat I had made for Gabriel. I then began to create many more doodles which were commissioned by followers on Instagram.

In December 2017 I went into hospital at 41 weeks as I felt Gabriel’s movements had changed. When I arrived his heart trace was not as expected and I was sent to the labour ward for monitoring and induction. Tragically, after three hours of being in the hospital, Gabriel’s heart stopped and on December 14th 2017 he was born sleeping.

I stayed in hospital with him for five days; I asked my parents to bring the birth announcement mat I had made to the hospital and spent some time completing the last little corner. There were so many things which I wasn’t able to do for Gabriel in the days which I spent with him, the things which I had anticipated doing as a new mum again. But finishing his doodle mat was something which I could do and once it was completed I laid him on it and took his picture, as can be seen in one of the attached photographs. Whilst Gabriel lay on the mat, I drew around his outline and now this hangs proudly in my home. I remember feeling the smallest sense of comfort, knowing that I was doing something for him, that the time I spent doing the last few drawings were for him.

When I returned home from the hospital, I wanted to start fundraising in Gabriel’s memory. I wanted to somehow incorporate the doodle work which I had started when I was pregnant to help support others and research into miscarriage and stillbirth.

Again, whilst pregnant, I had created monthly milestone cards for Gabriel-each one with a number and little doodles for that month. I realised that I would never get to use them as I had anticipated but they meant so much as they were a connection to him and my pregnancy with him that I wanted to try to use them in some way. So I decided to use them to make a downloadable calendar which was sold to raise money for Tommy’s Baby Charity. I was overwhelmed by the support it received and the number of people who sent me messages of support, love and to let me know that my little boy would be thought of in their home, with his calendar on their wall.

In the months after Gabriel’s birth I continued to receive commissions for personalised initial doodles and a number of these were heartbreakingly for babies who now dance amongst the stars. Parents would contact me and tell me about their loss and about their little ones – their name, things which reminded them of them, where they were laid to rest or special items which they had. From this, I was able to create a personalised keepsake for the family, with all the things which were special to them and their baby. To be trusted with creating something which provides comfort to a bereaved family is such an honour, to fill a void in creating gifts for parents who have empty arms is something which I will always be so touched to be asked to do and I hope that they can offer some comfort.

It has been such an privilege to be asked to create such special gifts and keepsakes. Hearing and seeing Gabriel’s name means so much to me – to know he is not forgotten, to be able to help keep the memory of someone else’s little one alive is just the biggest honour and pleasure. I hope that the work I do continues to help parents along their path and honours their precious little baby, and by doing so, I can also create a legacy for Gabriel and help others in his memory.

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