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My Plea:

On the 15th June 2015 I found out I was pregnant with my second child. And On the 1st September we found out that we were having a baby boy, to say we were chuffed was an understatement.

Ronnie was always very active but more than ever on Saturday 23rd January, so much so that I decided to video his movements, Unknown to us at the time this would be the last time we captured his womb life. It was the next day around 8pm that I felt Ronnie’s last movements but it wasn’t until I got into bed around 11 that I’d realised he hadn’t moved since. To ensure that everything was okay Jay and I went up to the hospital but it was in this moment we got the news that no parent wants to hear. The next few days was the longest as it wasn’t until the Wednesday that I was induced and at 1.43am on Thursday the 28th January 2016 I gave birth to the most beautiful little boy I had ever seen, weighing 6lb4oz and with blonde hair my sleeping angel was finally here and I fell in love all over again.

Thanks to Sands and the amazing cuddle cots they provided Jay and I did not leave his side and lots of our wonderful family and friends got to meet him and hold him including his big sister Elsie, this was so important to me to have all 3 of the people I love the most in the World altogether in the same place. We made as many memories and took as many pictures as possible with in the two days we stayed with him at the hospital. After leaving the hospital we took Ronnie to our friends funeral home where for the next four weeks we continued to go and see Ronnie whilst planning his funeral.

Organising any funeral is hard enough but your own child’s is something that isn’t natural and we had to make some of the hardest decisions we have ever made. On the 25th February the evening before his funeral we said our final goodbyes and gave him our last kisses before we put the lid on his little casket. I can honestly say that a piece of me stayed with Ronnie that day and I have never felt the same since. His funeral the next day went by in a blur and all I kept thinking was this was the last thing that we was ever going to be able to do for Ronnie I hated this feeling and it was then that I knew I needed to keep his memory alive.

So since this date I have organised one football charity match between my partners side and my side of the family, iv organised 2 football fun day tournaments with up to 16 teams taking part and lots more going on such as, a bouncy castle, face painting, stalls raffle, and an auction, we had a balloon release to remember all our angle baby’s. I always try to do different things to include everyone’s angels as hearing and seeing their names isn’t something we get often enough. I also run along side 27 beautiful friends and family in our girlie fun run including my at the time 2 year old daughter, who I ended up carrying on my shoulders most the way round before she got down and crossed the line carrying a balloon with her brothers face over the line. Altogether from these events in just 2 and a half years we have raised a massive £ 30, 680.65

The money I have raised so far has gone towards improvements to the bereavement suits at varies local hospitals, we’ve provided training days to midwives and other health care professionals, we have brought cuddle cots and other equipment needed in our local hospitals, provided mama academy wallets, memory boxes, and hand and footprint kits. The money that I raise in Ronnie’s memory will continue to go towards Sands and our local hospitals to hopefully help bereaved families and eventually lower the number of babies that die each day!

I also started to help in anyway I could for my Sands group. I took part in awareness campaigns in local supermarkets, I helped organise a baby loss service at Darenth valley hospital, I helped with the sands Christmas party, and a parent and midwife evening where parents and midwives got to sit together and talk though their stories and experiences and what we all thought would work better or what midwives done that stood out and helped in some small way when we are going though the hardest times of our lives. I also spoke at Greenwich University to student midwives during their training day provided by Sands. I am admin for a WhatsApp group for all the bereaved parents that attend my local group so we can continue to support each other through out the month in between meetings, We also have a bar in Ronnie’s name in our back garden which my dad donated his time to build for his grandson, which is always open for gatherings or committee meetings for my local sands group, I became an active member of the committee and hosted many of the meetings in Ronnie’s bar, and I have recently stepped forward and am now co-chairman for the west Kent and Medway sands committee. Since becoming co-chair I have organised the baby loss memorial service at Kemnal Park this year and I’m currently organising this years Wave of light for international baby loss awareness on the 15th October just two weeks after ill be induced to have our second rainbow baby!

Whilst doing this I have since gone on to have one rainbow baby and by the time this video goes out I should be hopefully in hospital having our second rainbow.
A Rainbow baby is a baby born shortly after a loss of a previous baby due to miscarriage stillbirth or death in infancy. This term is given to these special rainbow babies because a rainbow typically follows a storm, giving us hope of what is to come.

Since Ronnie died I made a promise to my son that his daddy and I would always keep his memory alive and we would speak his name with smiled lips, I would bring something positive to a very negative world we are in and we would make a difference even if its just one grieving family, one studying midwife or better still one baby! I don’t know how much difference I have or can make but I’m not willing to stop until I’ve for filled my promise to Ronnie.
I just want to thank everyone who has supported me in this journey, ironically I wouldn’t be able to do what I do if it wasn’t for the support group I attend and people I have met through Sands my friends my family but most importantly my partner, Ronnie’s Daddy!

What Others Have Said

“There are things some of you wouldn’t know, the pain is still burning in my stomach, the ache in my chest, the anxiety that lives in me every day and the constant guilt of living when my child is not”. These are the words in a fund raising program organised by Demi Francis whose son Ronnie was still born on the 28th January 2016. She built a bar in her back garden and called it Ronnie’s and made it a place for people to socialise, for angel parents to congregate, for her local Sands committee to meet. She has just finished organising her 3rd fundraising football tournament and family day and along with other ventures had raised well over £30,000.”