My Plea:
I have been a midwife for over 26 years having qualified in 1992. I became a Labour Ward Coordinator over 15 years ago and took on the additional role of the Bereavement Midwife 10 years ago.
As part of the bereavement service provided by Musgrove Park Hospital, an appointment is made for me to visit families at their home about 2 weeks after birth should they wish. I cannot put into words how important this part of my job is, as this unlimited time with the couple allows them to talk about their baby with someone willing to listen.
We discuss events before, during and after the birth and I answer any questions they may have.
The death of a baby is still such a taboo subject that even family and close friends struggle to talk to and support the bereaved parents, so talking about the baby and using the baby’s name is key in continuing the grief process.
Being able to express their feelings as parents with someone who is willing to talk about their baby is so important to them.
I also give practical advice about coping on a day to day basis and discuss the big difference in how women and men grieve; how talking to each other will help them stay together as a couple, as unfortunately the death of a child can lead to a breakdown of the relationship altogether.
Reassuring the couple about the care they will receive for their next pregnancy goes some way to reduce their anxiety as making the decision to have their “Rainbow baby” (a baby born after the loss of a child) is a very brave one and these frightened parents need to know that we will hold their hand in whatever way we can to get them through that terrifying 9 months. I usually tell them that my one wish would be to get them from the beginning to the end of their pregnancy in a second, so they don’t have to go through that stress.
Every time I go shopping I am constantly looking for new items we can use as precious momentoes for our bereaved parents. With the donations kindly made to our Rowan Suite Fund, we are able to provide these mementoes for our families. They include plaster casts of baby’s hands and feet, butterflies, cross stitch kits, cards, photographs, keyrings, teddies and much more.
I work with colleagues in our Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit (EPAC) and Antenatal Clinic. So that the donations are funding mementoes- glass hearts, wooden butterflies and hearts to give ladies who have been given the sad news that their baby has died. They are also given a “Butterfly Bag” which contains practical equipment to help with the process if they have chosen to miscarry at home. I also work with Towards Tomorrow Together – who donate memory boxes for the parents, Little Daffodils who supply us with memory boxes for the siblings of the baby, and Aching Arms who donate a teddy bear specifically for the parents.
The lovely part of my bereavement role is receiving emails and messages from couples telling me they are pregnant! The joy is always followed by fear. But for those who want that extra bit of support either by email or just popping up to the labour ward to see me when they have antenatal clinic appointments, it is lovely for me to see their growing bumps and help in any way I can.
I would like to say a huge thank you to Becky and Luan who both nominated me for this award, having met them both after the loss of their babies Jude, Billy and George.
I have been privileged to see them though their subsequent pregnancies, meeting their beautiful rainbow babies. Being told that; “I am now one of the family” and “I genuinely don’t know how I would have got though the last couple of years without her support and will be forever grateful for her support, care and compassion.” makes doing the job on just one day a week all worthwhile.
You have made me feel incredibly honoured and very overwhelmed. Thank you again for nominating me Becky and Luan x
What Other’s Have Said
“My waters broke when I was 17 weeks pregnant with our ivf baby on 14th April 2016. I contracted sepsis. Our son Jude, was born on 20th April and lived for 7 precious minutes. Keiley supported me. We went through another round of ivf starting in October of the same year and fell pregnant again. This pregnancy was filled with anxiety for me and Keiley was always there to reassure me whenever I needed it. Keiley was working and was there for my whole c section, which was just amazing for me. I genuinely don’t know how I would have got though the last couple of years without her support and will be forever grateful for her support, care and compassion.”
Keiley is the most kind hearted midwife I have been fortunate to know. We are very lucky to have a bereavement midwife at our hospital and Keiley is the most perfect kind and compassionate midwife to fulfil the role
thank you Hayley xx
Keiley is a wonderful compasionate midwife who is much loved and respected A wonderful aspiration to us all
thank you June xx
Keiley is the most warm hearted midwife I’ve ever met. Not only helping my mum deliver me she also delivered my laughter who is now 3 years old. Always kept in contact from when I was born. I’m very great full for all the support she has given.
love you too Keiley xx
Keiley is loved and admired by colleagues and patients for her compassion and commitment towards bereaved families.
thanks Gill xx
I have had the pleasure of working with Keiley as a midwife in the past, and now as a chaplain. I have seen how kind and caring she is and totally endorse her nomination for this award.
thanks Ruth xx
Keiley is one of those rare people that has the strength to be strong for others when the worst possible thing happens, the loss of a child. She remembers their names, listens whilst you despair at what has happened and helps to bring you back from the edge of giving up. On behalf of myself, my partner, our precious angel baby Toby and our rainbow baby Rhys, we thank you for all you have done and continue to do. Xx
Keri thank you for your lovely words xx
Keiley was such an incredible support to us when we lost our beautiful boy. We are forever grateful for the love and kindness she afforded us. X
thank you Chloe xx
Keiley, I hope you get all the votes you deserve as you truely do an amazing job. I hope everyone who comments realises that they also need to vote as well ?. Wishing you every success, Barbara
thanks Barbara xx
A truly remarkable lady who was such a comfort after losing our baby Reggie. She stayed with me for hours just talking and acknowledging how I felt and answering questions I was too frightened to ask the day we lost him. Will always be so appreciative of her help and guidance not only for us but for our wider family, friends and employers too.
thank you Debbie xx
I worked with Keiley for many years. Keiley is a very skilled midwife and one with great empathy and a wonderful tenderness.
thanks Robert xx
Keiley is just amazing! The Rowan suite wasn’t quite completed when we lost Jamie, but she made our room as comfortable as possible under the circumstances and provided wonderful strength and support to us. She deserves all the awards!!! x
thanks Max xx
Keiley is so kind and caring, she considers the details that make all the difference to those families who have been affected by the loss of a baby.
She is an inspiration to us all as colleagues, and a wonderful support to so many parents.
thank you Becky xx
Keiley you are a fantastic midwives and do such a fantastic job your job role is amazing with my sister and brother in law going through this in August you were all there for support and helped them through loosing the beautiful daughter Lydia I hope you get all the votes you can because you deserve it xx
thank you Louise xx
Keiley is a wonderful person and always puts the women at the heart of everything she does. She is a very caring colleague to work with.
thank you Denise xx
Shes an absolutely outstanding woman, she was my mother’s midwife when she was pregnant and then went on to be my bereavement midwife to my beautiful little angel Oliver a year ago, she does such an amazing job and makes such a horrible experience a little easier! She needs to be massively praised and appreciated for the amazing job she does! I can not thank her enough for everything she did for us last year! What and incredible caring woman!
thank you Natasha for your lovely words xx
I worked with Keiley. She is a wonderful colleague excellent at her work. She deserves this and many other awards.
thank you xx
You couldnt wish for a better midwife than Kieley. She is an amazing woman and always thinking of others
thank you xx
Keiley is the most kind and caring midwife. She is practical and thoughtful and gives wonderful care. She is a fantastic support to parents and colleagues. Thank you Keiley!
thanks Di xx
Where to start, a truly amazing human, beautiful inside and out caring compassionate. A truly inspirational person and totally worthy of this amazing award xoxo
thank you Emma xx
Keiley came to see me and my partner at home after we lost our beautiful son. I cant ever thank her enough for her support and amazing words throughout such a devestating time. Thankyou so much, words are never enough xxx
thank you Beth xx
I had the privilege to work with Keiley as a midwife. She is an amazing midwife and has been a joy to work with. Her kindness is legendary. Her care of families dealing with loss is a very personal and private journey in which she excells. She is always there as support to parents, family and colleagues alike.
Thank you Rach xx
I will never be able to put into words how much Keiley helped me and my family after we lost our baby. She is the perfect mix of professional, experienced, thoughtful, and caring. She so deserves this award x
Thank you Jo, love you lots xx
I have the pleasure of working with Keiley, and constantly refer to her for guidance and support when caring for women experiencing loss. For me it is the most important part of my job, and essential that we get it right as those precious moments need to last a lifetime.To do that as compassionately as we can we give a part of ourselves to that family, and feel those emotions they experience. So Keiley is vital not only for the women that she cares for but also for the staff that work along side her. Thank you.
Thanks Niki xx
Although Keiley wasn’t actually my midwife we had had many chats about the stages and what I needed to focus on . I had a traumatic first birth so was not looking forward to my second . But armed with the advise in my head I had the most amazing experience and all went extremely well . I call her my virtual midwife . She has so much experience and passion for her work she’s amazing