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My Plea:
People tell me I’m strong, they say I’m inspirational and that I’ve opened many people’s eyes to pregnancy and Infant loss. This wouldn’t of happend if I myself didn’t suffer that heartbreak. I was 22 me and my partner had been together for 6 years. We had been trying so desperately for a baby. Our relationship was on the rocks I had told him to leave me as it was me that was the issue. I just wasn’t ovulating. I through my life away and started getting drunk and partying with my friends just to take away my obsession. But every time a pregnancy announcement was made I would cry myself to sleep.
One day I was feeling sick I didn’t feel right at all. Something wasn’t normal and I couldn’t put my finger on it. A few days went passed and I was still feeling sick but hadn’t actually been sick. I knew right there and then but thought it was to good to be true. I sent my partner to the shop where he brought a pregnancy test. The shop keeper sighed at him as it was the 100th test he brought that month. I did the test and I sat on the bathroom floor waiting to see yet another negative test. I stood up and looked at the test I called my partner. It was positive, a big fat positive. It was my time! I fell to my knees and cradled my belly. At that point a unbreakable bound started a bound that would change my life forever and not just mine but all the people I led on to help.
I was pregnant finally! I never thought it would happen. Everything was perfect it was a lovely pregnancy I started to feel my baby move around 18 weeks. I kept telling myself this is to good to be true I guess I all ready had a gut feeling. Around 19 weeks I could feel my tiny little babies outline. I could feel where his head was and which position he laid in. As a first time mum I thought this was all normal. My partner would fall asleep every night holding our little baby all snuggled into his hand. He knew we was there. But I couldn’t shake this feeling so I consoled in my younger sister as she was pregnant as well and only 2 weeks a head of me. She had this beautiful big bump and couldn’t understand why I could feel my baby and she couldn’t feel hers. We shrugged it off. The night before my anomaly scan I had this gut feeling I remember feeling sick with fear. I kept telling myself everything is fine.
That dreaded day came the day that a part of me died. I had my scan and they where shocked to find absolutely no fluid. That’s why I could feel every tiny detail. My baby didn’t grow any kidneys and they couldn’t find his bladder either. He had something called renal agenesis. I look at that screem and I saw his face his jaw wide open. He looked like he was in pain, my baby that i so so longed for was suffering. We talked for a week about what the right thing to do was. And we finally decided that we would let our baby be at rest. Peter Ryan Tiberius Goddard was born on 01/07/16 at 3:35am he died at 3:40am on my chest listening to me talking to him. We spent a beautiful 16 hours with him and was sent home with a box and no baby. I walked through my doors and my place felt coled and empty. I went to what was going to be our son’s bedroom and laid next to his what was going to be his Moses basket and sat rocking it crying my eyes out.
Many weeks had passed and I needed to share my boy, my pride and joy. I posted on a mummy group and was told I wasn’t allowed to as it upset member. My perfect tiny little baby would upset members? What about me? I was upset and looking for help as I was close to given up on life as I wanted to be with him. I was turned away from every mummies page or told my son needed a trigger warning. I wasn’t having any of it. So I decided to make my own group and promised myself and my son that I would try and make a difference that he wouldn’t be hid away and that no baby should have! The group grew bigger and bigger and bigger. It became and amazing support group for 3 thousand men and women all who had go through a loss of their child. We had people who had chemical pregnacys to people’s who child died when they where teenagers. No one is treated differently we embrace our children and always talk about them. My aim was to show them and the world our children are not a taboo subject say their names loud and proud share their photos without any shame.
I started to dedicate my life to raising awareness for our son and everyone else’s angels. It’s started with sharing Peters story in various magazines such as real people and Ok magazine. His beautiful face was shared all over the world even magazines in America published Peters story. I was contacted by BBC news to share his story and to share why I was doing what I was doing and at the end of my interview I quoted “these are our babies, we should be allowed to share them with pride. They are not taboo they are our children”. I had thousands of inboxes of people saying they where made to be silence about their loses even those who had them 60 odd years ago finally found the courage to talk about their babies because of this. I knew I needed to do more. I knew how important it was to open the world’s eyes to pregnancy and Infant loss.
On October 15th 2017 I organised and planned a demonstration down Margate sea front. A very busy place where’s 100s of people walk past every day. Me and a group of ladies posted 1000s of our babies and children who sadly past away names. Each post note represented a child or baby. We had loads of people stop and asked us what we did. We was always met with the response “I didn’t realise there was so many” after we left the memorial wall people stared to add their children’s names. The wall grew bigger and bigger. I was contacted by the local newspaper where they covered the story. Many other news papers picked up on it and it became huge. The wall stayed for 2 whole weeks and by the end 1000s of babies names where placed on the wall. We raised a lot of awareness all those babies had been recognised not only in Margate but world wide! Sadly the council decided to pull it all down due to health and safety. But the message stayed in people’s hearts. In December 2017 we did a special Christmas tree in memory of all our children this tree had 100s of babies names on them. More newspapers covered the story.
I couldn’t believe how much awareness I was spreading that my son didn’t die for no reason as I kept telling myself. His death had a purpose no matter what I believe his memory was living on through all the awareness we was raising. With help from my admins the page grew bigger and bigger I introduced special neverland packs for people who had lost babies and had nothing to remember them. These packs contain memory gifts and little outfits. We have sent out over 500 packs since January 2018. I am currently in a middle of a very big project where we are showing the “true” faces of pregnancy and infant loss. A video that will be realised on 15th October 2018 world wide. I am also currently contacting various land marks and asking them to change their lights to pink and blue on the evening of October 15th.
I do all this for my son and for all those babies who deserve to be recognised. Our children mean the world to us that don’t stop when their heart dose. That love will forever stay with us. We will forever be grieving over what should of been.
What Others Have Said
Stacie has done so much since losing her beautiful baby boy peter to raise awareness of babyloss & to support other grieving families through their losses
Stacie has helped me come to terms with our Mascarriages so much! I was alone in my journey of depression & sadness, until a friend directed me to the Facebook Group, i havent looked back since and they have been there for me every step of the way and whenever they needed me!
I would 100% call them all friends on the group, we are a family!
We’re in the club that no one wants to be in! But we are all amazing, the support is unreal & Stacie having gone through & continuing to fo through so much, deserves this so so much!
Stacie helped me so much. She was actually one of the first people who found out about my loss. After my stillborn my life has changed completely. With the help of Stacie I know I am not alone and that my baby matters.
Stacie has a heart of gold and has helped so many through the dark times of losing a baby whilst grieving herself for the loss of her beautiful boy Peter.
Stacie truly is an inspiration to all.
Stacie is an absolute inspiration to all of the baby loss community. It’s a privilege to know such an amazing woman ❤
Stacie is an inspiration, she has helped me so much through my babyloss journey & many many others xx
Stacie is a truly inspirational woman who has helped and continues to help so many people across the world.
Stacie you are amazing, I come across your group when lost my angel couldn’t have coped or even survivied without the group. Thanks for everything your a winner in my eyes xxx
Your amazing and so strong rest in peace beautiful Peter. For a women to go threw this she has to have great strength, and to help support others is amazing
Stacie has helped thousands of people since losing her gorgeous peter shes amazing❤️
Stacie and her group is the only place I ever have felt safe enough to share my stories of my angel babiesxxx
Stacie has done alot since peter passed away shed got an amazing group aswell that helps other mummies and daddies that are joining this journey
Stacie is such a caring giving woman. Peter would be proud if everything she has done for everyone who knows about child loss ?
I cant thank stacie enough fot how much help and support she has given not only me but so many others after loosing our babies. She is such a strong and insparational woman. Peter would be hugely proud if her and the woman she is today
Being told my babies weren’t babies, weren’t important was heart breaking to hear, my babies WERE important, they did exist! I knew it all along but was scared to share it but Stacie showed me how it was ok to share my babies names and not be scared! Xxx
I’m appalled by people that would say such a thing to a lady that has just said goodbye to their child. I lost a baby many many years and am grateful to have my three beautiful daughters. I have friends that have also lost children and have not been able to have children as well as others like me that have and couldn’t ever imagine not using their babies names when we talk, remembering special dates and being an ear whenever they need it. It’s heartbreaking to think that so many people are silenced, while every day people pay homage to stars that lived a full life and passed decades ago. Stacey is a true inspiration as are all you amazing mums to angel babies. May they forever be remembered and live on in the hearts of all who love them xx
Stacie is such an amazing kind hearted and caring lady. She doesn’t give herself enough credit for the effort she puts in to remember and honour all of our angels. I had the honour of helping run her page for a few months last year and it really is like a little (well big!) family. Every one is supportive of one another and everybody’s loss is equal. We share and understand eachothers pain and stories rather than comparing one loss to another and people are free to share whatever photos etc they want without judgement. This wouldn’t have been possible if it wasn’t for Stacie and she absolutely deserves this for her dedication.
Peter would definitely be proud.
Stacie is an inspiration, she has been my rock and I have no idea why I’d do without her and her group, through my losses and the loss of my daughter, she taught me it’s ok not to be ok. You are one amazing strong women!x
Stacie is the most strongest lady I know. What an inspiration she really is. I have no idea what I’d have done without her and her group going through my losses and the loss of my daughter earlier this year. Stay strong Stacie, your beautiful and so many people look up to you x
Stacie has helped me and others she’s been there for me when no one was there she’s been such an amazing support to me with everything recently she doesn’t know how amazing she really is? Peter would definitely be so so proud of how far she’s come and all the big steps she’s faced she’s helped 3000 members in her group she’s absolutely amazing she definitely doesn’t giver herself enough credit for everything she does to help everyone’s angels with the never land packs etc
When I had a miscarriage in May 2017, Stacie was the first person I messaged. I didn’t know I was pregnant until my little baby was in my hand having lost him/her at home. She was a mauve support. It was about 2am that I messaged her and she replied almost straight away. The group is invaluable to us angel mummies and daddies. Thank you Stacie. We love you
A few months before Stacie lost Peter, I had 2 miscarriages. I expressed myself on my own facebook wall. But instead of support, I recieved comments like “get over it”, “stop being so depressive” and “there are people worse off than you”. At that moment in time, my world had fallen apart and no one understood how i felt. A few months later i heard about Stacie’s loss and got in contact and we became great friends. A week or two later, Stacie set up the page and recruited me as admin. It changed my life. who knew a Facebook page could change someones life?!
Finally, I was able to tell people how I felt and not be judged for it. except only recieve support. Everyone recieves so much love and support and prayers for those trying to conceive, because we have all been there, and we are all there for one another. The page became global after a few months and it really does open your eyes to just how often child loss happens, yet its not spoken of. We should feel proud to speak of our babies and celebrate them, which is exactly what the page is for.
I’m proud to know Stacie, her strength is incredible. She changed my life, I can now feel again. and for that I’m truly grateful.
Thank you x
Stacie really is a truly remarkable woman, who is an inspiration to so many people including myself. Doesn’t give her self.enough credit nor praise for all the help she has done for the community and people world wide. she has done her children proud. Peter will b looking down so proudly. Absolutely remarkable lady . Her stength is amazing. She’s helped so many people to speak up and share their stories . She’s a blessing . Absolute pleasure to have the honour of knowing this really lady such an inspiration. We love u stacie xx
She is such amazing person who is raising awareness and given support to many people keep up ur hard work
I’ve been on stacies group since day 1 since than I have suffered 2 miscarriages both within a year. I have 2 boys already so I never thought I’d have any problem having more babies. stacie and her lovely group helped me talk about my babies and come to terms with them. I blamed myself and what mother doesn’t. she lights candles for our babies every year on their birthdays. I’m so so proud to be part of her wonderful group and to have somewhere I can finally talk about my babies and not feel ashamed that I am upset or just wanting some company on my babies birthdays. thanks to stacie i don’t feel ashamed to talk. I am forever eternally grateful for her group and to her. she deserves to win xx
Stacie Is Such A Inspiration Making Her Own Group And A Good Person She Has Helped So Many People Who Have Lost Babies Well Done And Hope You Win The Award 🙂
Stacie has been a rock for me she is an inspiration finding her page helped me deal with the loss of my son incredibly I have a safe place to post always and for that I’ll forever be in her debt xx
Stacies group gave me a safe place to post my baby girl and helped me through my stillbirth, she’s always someone to speak if you need her. She deserves to win she does so much amazing word in memory of Peter x
Stacie welcomed me into her group when I was in a dark place of my life. Being part of the group has made me see the light at the end of the tunnel, knowing people who have experienced the same as me and understands what I’m going through. Stacie is amazing and should be proud of the support she gives everyone. Thank you so much Stacie x
Stacie is a true inspiration to anyone who has lost a baby.stacies group helped me threw a miscarriage with twins and then throw the birth of my rainbow baby born 14 weeks early .
Thank you stacie x
Stacie has been there for me when no one else has or was she’s always been there but everything she says it really makes sense? I honestly don’t know where I’d be without her or her group I know for sure Peter is and will always be forever proud of how far she’s come Your a winner in all of our eyes you’ve been our rocks you’ve been there when you were grieving too
I love you Stacie & rest in neverland beautiful peter????
I have never met Stacie in person , but I feel like I almost know her so much . Stacie is one of the First Ladies that I met after we suffered from 2 miscarriages and she made me see loss in a different and beautiful way. She is so inspiring after what she has gone through with her beautiful angel peter and I know there are so many women who have gained comfort because of her . She is amazing and because of the hope she give me I am now expecting twin girls . Our losses are no longer are devestating for us now that we know all of our angels are together x
This lady is amazing I lost my baby girl who was born at 26 weeks and 6 days. She lived for four days. It’s not untill you have lossed s baby u realize how many people who have been through it too. Xx
Stacie has been amazing to me….when I was loosing my Aiden becuase he had patsu syndrome….she was there at every turn supporting me…..when I was soooio frightened as I didn’t know what was going to happen……and I can’t thank her enough…..Caroline….xxx
Stacie is such an amazing lady and would do anything for anyone! She has done so much for so many people whilst grieving for Peter and looking after her gorgeous babies! We are all so so proud of her and we can’t thank her enough for what she has done! We love you Stacie xxxx
Stacie is amazing and what she has done for everyone is a credit she deserves this more than anything xx
Stacie is amazing and what she dose for people is amazing even tho she puts herself to the side to make sure everyone is ok on her group
Stacie was there for me when I needed to talk about my angel, i had a early miscarriage and she recognized my angel as a person, helped me talk about my beautiful angel. She helped me open up and not feel like i have to stay quite
Stacie is one of the strongest most amazing woman I know.. she is always ready to help other overcome anything or she is just simply there to open up too.. she is amazing 🙂
Stacy always takes the time out of her day to reply to everyone. She’s a lovely genuine lady !
Stacie has been a tower of strength to so many angel mums and dads despite grieving herself she deserves this so much xx
This beautiful lady has helped me through so much even more than she thinks she’s an inspiration to so many lady’s she’s helped me with both my baby losses peter will forever be proud of how far she’s come such an amazing lady????
Winning would mean the absolute world to Stacie with everything she’s done to help so many grieving mothers and daddy’s she deserves this I really hope she wins she’s been my absolute rock ?
Voting again because with everything you’ve done for so many ladies you desrve this time ?
Stacie thank you for all the support and helping other women like myself realise that no matter what happens our angels will always matter.