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Plea:
I was hugely touched to be nominated by Kerry and Stacey after meeting them as bereaved mums after the loss of their little boys, Junior and Jaxon. You wrote such lovely things about the care you had received from me and the team when your little ones were born, and we thank you it’s is truly humbling to be appreciated in such a special way by such lovely people who are going through the saddest and most difficult of times.
I knew I wanted to be a midwife as soon as I entered the labour ward during my placement on the maternity unit as a student nurse, I was struck by what an amazing job this was. After finishing my nurse training I applied for midwifery training and in August 2000 qualified as a midwife.
I was right, it is a truly amazing job, we as midwives are hugely privileged to care for families at such a special and sacred time as the birth of their baby – both in the best and worst of times. It struck me very early on how we as midwives can make a difference in the care we give, that it should be safe, and given with empathy to their own individual needs. I worked as part of the labour ward high risk midwifery team, then as a labour ward coordinator, starting my current post as bereavement support midwife in July 2011.
As part of my work on the high risk team I worked more often with bereaved families and it became apparent that what we do as midwives at the saddest time in the families life is so important. We are placed in a position where the parents are in shock, devastated at hearing the news that their baby has died, or have received a poor antenatal diagnosis.
It is our role as midwives to make sure that these families receive the best of care, compassion, guidance and support at such a devastating and confusing time. We aim as a team to offer the family the facilitate the families ability to make choices that will be right for them and help them as they are dealing with their grief and loss, and do all we can to make sure that things are done the according to the families wishes.
It is so important that we as a team offer the family their sense of control back, and are aware of all of the possibilities in regards to making memories, washing and dressing their baby, photographs, how they wish to spend time with their baby as a family and helping them to make their needs happen according to the families wishes. This might be staying with their family in our Butterfly suite, or taking their baby home, and ultimately discussing funeral arrangements and arranging services via the hospital’s contract funeral services if this is most helpful to the family, or offering information as to local private services.
Individualised care for every family is very important to me, we are all so different and it’s essential that we all recognise these differences and work to fulfil the families wishes on an emotional and cultural level, during my time in post, I have worked hard to produce guidelines and teaching sessions to help us work as a team to care for the family in ways that fulfill their holistic needs.
I work with families to help them make choices regarding investigations following the loss of their baby, talking through the procedures for postmortem and gaining consent from the family, in accordance with the investigations they are comfortable with. I also participate in perinatal mortality reviews where we can as professionals learn from practice and individuals situation, learning all we can to help reduce the risks to mums and babies in our care, and I am the lead perinatal death reporter at our trust, reporting cases to MBRRACE UK so care can be examined and changes made nationally to practice . I aim to offer further support once the family leave the hospital, offering a telephone support service and seeing the families at home in the weeks following the loss of their baby, for listening visits, offering the opportunity to ask questions or simply a safe space to talk about what has happened to them and their feelings about this, signposting them to other support services that might offer them support and comfort such as support groups or counselling should they find these helpful.
It has been lovely to be nominated, and I would like to take the opportunity to also thank my colleagues on delivery suite, the mortuary, medical photography and chaplaincy teams who have always been so helpful to me in trying to do the best we can for our bereaved families, your kindness and teamwork is much appreciated by everyone.
I would also like to thank all of the the families who have used the bereavement service and have done so much to give back to the unit and to others who are going through the loss of a baby. We have had donations of beautiful artwork, comfortable furnishings, and beautiful handmade baby clothes and blankets which make such a difference in offering the family a comfortable and dignifies safe space to spend time with their baby, I feel blessed to have this support both of the parents and of charities who I am so happy to see have been nominated for a Butterfly award too.Thank you for reading my statement, it has been a genuine honour to be nominated among so many kind and hardworking people who are aiming to offer the best to bereaved families.
Best wishes,
Amanda
Amanda is a bereavement midwife by profession, but is a true angel in what was my darkest times. The voice of knowledge, experience, kindness, compassion and true devastation for the families that she works with shone through and for the first time since I found out my Son was an angel I felt at peace. Amanda treated my son with nothing but love and dignity and I felt so assured he was taken care of when I had to leave him in the hospital.
Amanda was there for a close friend of mine when she needed her the most. I was privileged to meet her whilst visiting my friend and her little angel baby. I was touched by how caring and supportive she was. I myself was heavily pregnant at the time and was worried about how to help my friend but Amanda made it easier and our bond is stronger because of her help and support.
What she does really touched me and I won’t ever forget it x
Amanda was our rock when we lost our little angel Ella-Louise in 2014.
She gave us the support and comfort we needed. Showed love, dignity and compassion to our little girl. Nothing can express our love for what she gave us.
Mrs and mr Heasman
Amanda does a amazing job at the hospital. All I’ve heard is positive and reassuring comments and is such a lovely lady please keep voting for her x
Wish id had somebody like you when i had my baby boy angel xx his name is John Whale xx as you may see the surname is the same as your friend Elaine Whale , John is her big brother . I think you do a fantastic job during a very heartbreaking time . Keep up the excellent work you do xx
I can only be guided by Sammy who has s beautiful heart and is nominating this beautiful heart X X X
I will never forget the care and compassion shown to me and my family by Amanda and the wonderful Southend midwifery team at the most difficult time in our lives. Thank you.
Amanda you are truly an amazing person, I don’t think I could have made it though the other side without your care and guidance during the hardest time in our life, thank you for being you and having the big heart that you do, there are not enough words to express our gratitude. Thank you for caring for us and our daughter Olivia Joy, you
amanda cushing is a truly amazing lady who goes beyond her duty to help parents who have lost a little angel she truly deserves to win
Amanda you are such a genuine, kind and amazing woman to help so many through the toughest times with compassion and care. Thank you for all of your support.
Amanda helped me through a very sad time. Such a lovely lady. I will never forget you Amanda. Thankyou for being there. X
You are an amazing lady Amanda. It’s a shame that you were not in post when I lost George but you took time to meet Tim & I to put procedures in place for when another bereavement such as ours takes place. I really appreciate that so thank you.
Not many people have found their calling and are doing a job that is perfect for them…..Amanda has! She puts everyone around her at ease straight away, which given the circumstances that she’s meeting people under, can’t always be easy to do.
My husband and I lost our little boy a few hours after his birth. In the days that followed, Amanda helped us to get through some very difficult times and made the whole process so much easier to bear. Thank you xxx
This lady is an angel! To work with her alongside bereaved parents is just a complete privilege x you’re amazing Amanda ! ?
A wonderful caring Midwife…who always goes further than her role….looking after women showing her compassion and kindness at such difficult times…x we are all so proud of you and what you do x
You helped my friend and her husband during their most difficult time losing a child in uterero. Your role is absolutely essential to supporting people and safeguarding their mental health.
I remember you,such a sweet lovely lady. I lost two babies between 2010 and 2011,and felt so much love from Amanda and the support was fantastic. I will never forget thank you ❤
My heart stopped when I saw this post, I read Amandas statement and immmediatly welled up remembering the tragic loss of our little boy Eli and the amazing care and help she gave my husband and I. In 2012 Amanda saw me through my twin pregnancy after we learned that our boys heart had stopped at 24 weeks, we had an anxious few months before I gave birth very dramatically to both babies, luckily my little girl Miley although 8 weeks premature was born healthy and came home with us after just a few short days. During this time Amanda settled us into the butterfly suite so we had time as a couple and a family to grieve for the son we had lost without all the awquardness and inevitable questions on the main ward. She guided us through the whole process with complete kindness and genuine compassion, taking great care to ensure our son was handled with dignity. She dealt with everything for us including funeral arrangements, a blessing, a memory box and came with us to register the births so we could concentrate on our new baby girl and have the opportunity to grieve our little boy. We were very lucky to have her x Thank you Amanda, love from Sacha, Dik, Madison, Harley, Miley and angel Eli xx
Amanda has recently helped a old friend after losing her little angel. I think the work and support she gives parents and families i a time of need is excellent work.
Myself and Alfie have Amanda in our lives at the moment and would be lost without her.she sits and listens to us and is helping us through our darkest days after losing Hollie.
Lots of love to you Emma & your lovely family xx
Amanda was absolutely fantastic when we had our son prematurely and unfortunately only lived for one hour. Freddie had photos, hand and footprints done in a special memory box which was all arranged. Amanda helped us with all that needed doing and helped us through our grief. The world could do with more Amanda Cushings.
Amanda is one of the kindest people I know. And her caring attitude makes her stand out an amazing lady. And I am sure with all the families that she deals with appreciate her caring and lovely nature that is what is needed for all the families she helps through the worst time of their lives. Proud to know you Amanda lots of love xxxxxxx
Amanda was wonderful when our boys, Archie and Charlie, were born sleeping earlier this year. Thank you so much for everything you did for us, we will never forget the kindness, sensitivity and compassion you showed us, helping us through the most traumatic of times. Thank you xxx
The love I have to show to others comes from the love I was shown, in my darkest days by amanda. There is so much amanda did for me, did for my angel son. That if I was to list them all I would go on forever, but what I admire the most about amanda is the ability to be the change that is needed, inspiring others to be that change…. amazing lady, who, if it wasn’t for her my healing journey with my son wouldn’t of been about love and hope and acceptance that I wasn’t to blame. I owe more then I can ever repay to her, and even if I could, amanda wouldn’t accept because to Amanda, she is just doing her job! If all professional did their job the way amanda does so naturally, those, who handle bereaved parents during and after, wouldnt make what is already hard journey, a more of a painful process.
I don’t think I know Amanda, but I’ve got a brain like a sieve. that said all I have heard about her is about how compassionate and caring she is. How she goes that extra mile to help bring some comfort, She has my vote 🙂
Christine Nice
My daughter Cheryl and son in law Alex was attended by Amanda at the loss of my e auricular grandson in 2012. Amanda showed love kindness and support and at the saddest time in your life you need a friendly face who you can relate to and ask questions and be sad with. Amanda was and true friend to us all. Amanda deserves the award. Bless her.
I am a health visitor in the local area. If a family have had a bereavement in the past and I am seeing them for their new baby, I ask if they had Amanda. The response is always yes, always that she is amazing, kind, caring and professional. But the thing that comes out the most is how much she’s goes over and above for every family I have ever met, I have never known any professional who is held in such high regard by her clients.