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Plea:
‘When a child dies their parents are robbed of a lifetime of choices.
Our intention is to give Angel parents a choice in what their child wears on their final journey. Angel babies deserve something nice to wear, just like any other child would.’ (Paul Scully-Sloan).
There isn’t much that can come close to the pain a parent feels when their child. The intensity of pain is like no other pain and that alone can be unbearable…. On a visit (April 2016) to Canvey Island, I was having a discussion and was told a story, it left me saddened, but not shocked as I had heard similar stories before The story was about a pregnant mum who had gone into hospital and had sadly lost her baby. I don’t recall how far along the pregnancy was, but the word ‘tiny’ stuck in my head. Her partner had not been able to be there with her, as sometimes happens with a sudden loss, but as he walked into a room he was met with a sight that no one should see. Their baby had been placed in a box and just left on the window sill. There seemed a lack of compassion or maybe it was just routine to do this. Either way it showed a lack of respect for the baby or the emotions and feelings of the parents. The baby was tiny, too small to be wrapped up in a normal blanket or laid in a full sized cot, but there was no reason why the baby should have been treated like that. Something else needed to be done for these tiny Angel babies. Tiny babies are being born to soon and don’t make it. This leaves the parents devastated and in need of some comfort.
Whilst I was there some ladies were bringing in little knitted cribs-I initially thought they were for dolls, but I was told they were for Angel babies. The mum who had lost the baby and her friend Stacy and Kerry Ann) had set up a group making cribs in a response to their experience.
I had not seen these cribs before and asked if I could take the idea to Northampton. Without hesitation they said yes. They subsequently helped with the group I set up, with advice and patterns. So I am extremely grateful for that.
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In August 2016 I set up a group on Facebook, initially it was to make cribs. The group has had several names, but in the end it was decided to name it ‘HAND MADE WITH LOVE FOR ANGEL BABIES’, The group initially made cribs, but as more joined they asked if we wanted other items making. I said yes and the group began making other items.
Julie (Martin) one of the group admins started sending tiny cushions, with Angel wings, mum of an Angel, dad of an Angel, brother, sister of an Angel. She also made and sent other keepsakes.
‘I started to knit and make my memory pillows in memory of my first born grandson Harlie, he would be 13 now, my daughter was 23 weeks pregnant when she went into labour and although the hospital were fantastic in their efforts to save him he was just to small and weak to survive, my daughter and son in law had to buy a small doll just to be able to use the clothes to dress him in as back then there wasn’t the help and support needed. Thankfully now with Paul and the groups he has set up and the many others now available grieving parents are getting help and support and the clothing, blankets, cribs etc, to lay their babies to rest with dignity. So I would like to say a big thank you to Paul and all members of all the groups who help make this happen. X ‘ (Julie Martin).
In the group one day, someone asked if we were making gowns from wedding dresses as they had a dress and didn’t have anywhere to send them to. Initially I was unsure as I didn’t know anyone who could make them.
In the end I said yes.
My kitchen was already full of boxes of knitting, so having a wedding dress in there too wouldn’t be any trouble. Quite quickly people were picking up that we needed people to sew the gowns and today, in just a few month the group has made over 200 gowns.
We are receiving several wedding dresses a week now. In less than a year we have donated over 20 000 knitted items to hospitals, funeral parlours and families across the UK.
We hear daily that parents who are having Angel babies in hospitals are not being offered any small knitted items for their babies to wear.
We are not entirely sure if it is because of the pace midwives are having to work, so they are not able to pull the items out or if they just don’t have anything. When we hear these stories we will contact the hospital and ask if they need any items. Most of them say they do, so we send them some.
Today the group stands at just over 1500 members, with more joining daily.
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I was contacted by a knitting group who asked if we had any use for ‘Fish and chip jumpers as the lady who they used to give them to had passed away. (these are sent to Africa for new born babies to wear as some families are so poor they can only take their babies home wrapped in newspaper). I had not heard of these jumpers, but I like to fix things.
I contacted a local charity (Northampton Trustee Fund) who support Penyem village in The Gambia and asked if they could make use of them them. They were happy to take the jumpers. The group have ‘adopted’ the village-in terms of knitting for them and have donated several hundred items to the village.
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The group has worked hard over the past year and what they make is truly made with love.
‘We are so grateful for ‘Daddy’s with Angels’. At the toughest time we have ever been through, the last thing we wanted to do was go shopping for a dress to bury our child in. Paul was recommended to us by a friend and he was brilliant. He let us choose a dress for our Angel and gave us a cardigan – he even gave us some little gifts for her brother and sister to keep too. Paul made the hard time just that little bit easier which meant so much to us. Thank you for everything Paul xxx ‘
Charlie and Matthew. Parents of baby Angel.
SOME COMMENTS FROM THE HAND MADE WITH LOVE GROUP MEMBERS.
I have never lost myself, but have friends who have and have said that having keepsakes and memories have helped them with their losses. I myself have one daughter who I see as my miracle baby as I never thought I would be able to have children of my own and know how lucky I am to have her in my life. X’ (Claire Hinkley)
‘My Mum’s first born, a girl was stillborn and she never got over her loss. They took the baby away, Mum didn’t even know where and throughout the years she would cry for her. When I became aware off this fantastic group it felt as if I’m helping ease my Mum’s pain.’ (Betty Tichner)
‘My story is like Betty my sister was born full term but still born in them days you were not allowed to know where there buried they were buried in one big space my mum never forgot that why I knit for babies x’ (Barbara Keable) ‘Early in my pregnancy doctors thought I will loose the baby, if that would happen I would not know what to do, where to go or how to cope. Doctors were wrong and she is now 7 years old. So when one of my friends shared a post on Facebook about knitting and crocheting for Angel babies I just knew I have to do it! It’s so overwhelming and everyone who is involved in this do such an amazing job xx’ (Sanita Jermanova)
Knitting (and crocheting and sewing) for Angel babies isn’t just about giving them some dignity and their parents some comfort, it’s bigger that that. It can help those who make these items take some comfort in their own or family losses (as these items were not available to them) and (despite the group being online) there is a sense of family/togetherness all working on the same aim.
No one finds it a chore to make these items and it’s fair to say they are all HAND MADE WITH LOVE.
What Others Have Said
Handmade with love for angel babies which is headed by daddys with Angels has been supply hospitals, funeral directors all around the uk with 100{5e147ce19fa3d639e28ca8bbb4150e62a9bb0232d092af2f54018d16b4c95750} free knitted items, they have also supplied Neonatal units with small clothing too as well as a project in Africa for children.