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Plea:
Rt Hon Andy Burnham MP – Shadow Home Secretary says
“Dan helped turn personal tragedy to good and changed policies in the NHS in the process and it was down to his endless positive campaigning that led to changes to clinical standards in this area. Furthermore, Dan has still found time and energy to train as a bereavement counsellor to support grieving families.”
Hi everyone, my name is Dan Hill and I am a 44 year old very proud dad of sixteen kids. I always say sixteen as in our sixteen years of married life we have lost eleven babies during pregnancy, we lost Isabella tragically at just eight days old and we have four fabulous kids driving us mad at home.
I am very, very proud and humbled to have been shortlisted for The Inspirational Father Of The Year Award and like probably all the other nominees I am scratching my head a little as to why!!!! We don’t ask for recognition for what we do, we just do it cause we are dads….. we just can’t hold some of our kids as others can.
I have been asked to share my journey thus far so here goes……..
We, Jade and I, have always had complicated pregnancies and had already lost eleven babies in the early stages of pregnancy over the years but we had also had four wonderful kids, Charlie then 12 years old, Georgia 10, mason 3 and little Tabitha was almost two when Jade announced in early 2013 that we were to have another addition. I was a Search Dog Handler within the prison system having just returned from my 19th tour of Afghanistan and Iraq. It was a job I had always dreamed of and the new addition meant we had decided I would stay in the UK permanently and be close to them all.
All was progressing well, work was fantastic and we settled into the daily routine that all expectant parents do until Jade developed severe pre-eclampsia eventually being transferred to Liverpool Women’s Hospital by emergency ambulance. I got there as quick as I could with Jade’s mum speeding up from Oxford to mind the kids at home. When I arrived Jade was pretty much out of it, her BP was dangerously high and although Jade elected to not deliver I was asked to make the decision for her ‘We deliver and we will try our hardest for the little one or we don’t and both mum and baby are in danger!’ Obviously I had to choose to deliver to give them both a fighting chance. At 11.04 am on the 10th July tiny, beautiful, perfect Isabella Hope entered our world crying and kicking at just 26 weeks and changed our lives forever.
Jade was extremely poorly and was receiving constant care so I went to see my little butterfly in her incubator on the NICU. There she was, still crying softly but breathing unaided and so, so strong. The doctors were astounded, the nurses were cooing over her and there I was, looking down at the tiniest little girl and falling in love all over again. Jade was well enough to make a short visit to visit, a vigil she kept 24/7 for the next week. Isabella kept improving until three days later after a series of medical blunders caused a massive deterioration. Isabella had had a Universal Veinous Catheter (UVC) fitted to feed TPN fluids into the heart however, the doctor had to adjust the position and then should have X-rayed the new position. The X-Ray wasn’t performed even though the local policy stated it should be and therefore the position of the UVC wasn’t known. Instead of being just shy of the heart the line had skewered Isabella’s liver and the fluids were now filling up her abdomen and crushing her internal organs. Still no X-Rays were taken and when eventually they were the doctor still didn’t cease the fluids. The consultant, on hearing that Isabella was deteriorating, rushed to the hospital from his home because she had been doing so well. Dr Chris Dewhurst is a leader in neonatal medicine and to me he is a hero, not just for his efforts in trying to save Isabella but also because he isn’t afraid to put his neck on the line for the right reasons which I will explain in a second.
Chris immediately ceased the fluids and noticing that Isabella’s tummy was distended he started to drain the excess fluids to relieve the pressure on Isabella’s little heart and lungs. Immediately Isabella started to improve and over the next few days, with Jade constantly by her side, she became stronger and stronger to a point where we were told on day seven that we could look forward to taking our little fighter home in a month or two………..
The next morning Isabella died on her mummys chest, she was eight days old. The damage caused resuscitating her following the errors that were made had proved too much for her tiny heart to take. Chris Dewhurst was with us when she fell asleep for the last time and I am glad he was there as he had tried so hard to save her……. I had only held her once and that was as she was leaving us… ONCE!!!. Our world fell apart right then and there.
The following weeks were a blur, I am a trained medic and my own doubts were confirmed when Dr Dewhurst ordered a post mortem and an inquest was arranged. Isabella was finally allowed to be laid to rest and with Jade by my side I carried our little girl past our family and friends to her tiny grave.
Our inquest was not until October and we arrived to find the place full of lawyers and doctors all giving evidence. It was then that the truth about the neglect came to light. I cross examined (if that’s the right term) prompted by Jade elbowing me in the ribs regularly everytime we heard something that was blatantly incorrect. The doctor involved had stated that Isabella died due to her prematurity and denied any failure on his part…… we proved otherwise and subsequently the NHS admitted 7 counts of ‘sub optimal care’ and stated that ‘In all probabilities Isabella would have been with us had they not intervened’
We went home
We had proved that our little girl hadn’t died, she was killed and she had fought so hard to stay with us despite having had that chance taken from her.
It wasn’t enough…. She deserved better
Jade and I sat down, we had heard at inquest that there was no national policy on the use of UVC’s and we couldn’t understand why!!! A simple X-Ray would have been enough to save our little girl!!! Why hadn’t they done one???
We decided right at that point that no other family would suffer our devastation, no more babies would be lost because someone decided to not bother following his own hospital’s policies. Justice For Isabella Hope came into effect that night.
Justice For Isabella Hope:
With the help of a friend Isabella’s facebook page was created and finally we could tell Isabella’s story. Baby loss of any type is a subject that people don’t talk about enough and we encountered many setbacks and negativity….. a word of advice….. don’t mess with Jade when she is on one!!! We are now at over 4500 followers and still growing.
Campaign:
We wrote to every medical board in England and Wales urging them to introduce a national guideline for the use of UVC’s but as expected we didn’t carry the weight needed to open doors, we didn’t even receive replies to our letters so as a desperate last resort I decided to go down the political route. Andy Burnham is not only our MP he was at the time Shadow Health Secretary and once we had met with him and his fab assistant Karen he was appalled at the lack of respect shown to us by the boards. Within days we had met with the Chief Exec of the GMC and his legal team!!!! We were getting in front of the decision makers at last and our little girl will have made a difference.
It took two years but in the summer of last year The BAPM announced that there will be a set of national guidelines rolled out on the use of UVC’s in neonatal babies across England and Wales. This could save 50 babies a year who are at risk and never again will any family lose their wonderful little ones needlessly. By the time Isabella would have turned 21 she will have possibly saved a thousand tiny lives. That is some legacy!
Moving On
Wow!!! How crap is it!!! Our campaign had succeeded, I couldn’t work because Jade was struggling, with four children at home she hadn’t grieved and to be honest I was a mess too!! I had ploughed so much into the campaign that now I had no direction and I had nowhere to turn. There seemed to be no help for angel dads out there and I needed help. That’s when I was approached by Paul Scully-Sloan of Daddys With Angels. He had seen our campaign and heard of what we had achieved and he pretty much held my hand when I needed it. I read about his journey and what he has achieved and done to help grieving dads through DWA and I began to get more involved. Paul subsequently offered me a voluntary admin position on the DWA sites and I happily accepted. I now had a purpose, something to be involved with and I found that by helping other dads it was actually helping me.
I now spend whatever spare time I have talking to dads, guiding those with new losses to gradually accept that their lives have changed and hopefully lifting the guys that are struggling on their darker days. It’s rewarding, it’s satisfying when you see a guy go from struggling to strength and see them helping others.
Shortly I will be fully qualified in Bereavement Counselling and I aim to continue helping others through the devastation and just giving them somewhere to go when they need it. It’s fair to say DWA probably saved me and I am very proud to be giving back to Paul and the team.
Volunteering
As well as DWA I also tutor ex-offenders in Health and Safety and get them qualified in CSCS so that they can find work in the construction industry after release. The prison system isn’t always about punishment it can also give people a chance to change their lives for the better and I get a massive sense of achievement when someone with a career of criminality visits me to tell me that they have secured their first job in a decade.
I have just qualified as a Football Association Coach and I currently volunteer to coach the academy kids at Earlestown Athletic Junior Football team. These are kids from all backgrounds and social demographics but they all share a passion for football. Watching them grow from shy little 5 year olds into confident, enthusiastic team players is a buzz that can’t be measured and it’s changing their lives.
Work
I’m back in uniform now having returned to the Prison System where I work for G4S as a Prison Custody Officer in the North West. Not many there know our story but I work with some awesome Officers and those that do know have shown total support for what both Jade and I do. I am very proud of my job and I truly believe we make a difference to some of the lads that come through the system.
So there you have it….. That’s me I guess. In this case I still find it incredible that I have been shortlisted especially as the Justice For Isabella Hope Campaign was as much Jade as it was me! (Joint category next year Mel?) She truly deserves plaudits, our marriage suffered greatly as many do after a loss and on many occasions things were said and done that would have broken many couples. But we are strong again and I am very proud of how our family fight.
I am honoured to be compared to Paul Scully-Sloan and David Monteith who have won this award previously.
Our campaign still moves on, we will save more babies, Isabella will continue to make a difference, she was a fighter, she amazed the medical profession but above all she is our daughter and as long as I have a breath left I will continue to help others in her name.
For Izzy xxx
“Dan is inspirational not just because of his loss but what he continues to do. He always gives help to people with the time he has and never takes a thank you or acknowledgement for what he does
Shane Linford – previous award nominee
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What others have said:
The next few weeks are familiar to all us angel parents,the breaking of hearts and dreams of the life ahead and the plans for a baby that wouldn’t be coming home never to be realised. Dan had to stay at home to care for Jade who was still desperately sick and their four surviving children aged 12 down to 2 the eldest of which has disabilities. His career was over….. they lost their home, income, pension all on top of the loss of their baby. Nothing left at all. This is where Dan became different….. A story of positivity against grief and the drive to make a difference to many others despite his own loss.
This is a real inspirational father.. wow Dan you really do deserve this award.. jade and all your children sould be so proud of you.. you shined when jade needed it the most…
im in bits i got told by a friend read this profile tommow as it will upset me to much.. how more right could my friend of been.. Dan you are truly an amazing angel/rainbow daddy and such a strong hearted man. your words are true and you should be so proud.. im so sorry for all your losses big hugs. the work you do is amazing.. and i support DWA in all they do as most people forget about the dads and just ask mum if she’s ok.. I fundraise for daddy’s with Angels and this is why as they have a huge impact on men and there family’s life not just as a suport group but as a team.. I hope you win Dan you have my vote you deserve to win
Eve
What an amazing guy !! We shared that ward with you that day and felt your pain, don’t think I could have been nearly as strong as you both and you’ve done so much to help all them future babies! You should be sent proud and you really do deserve to win this award ! Good luck xxx
As your wife Dan I am so proud of you, you have been my rock and I know Isabella is smiling down with a huge smile on her face telling everyone up there that that’s my daddy ? Yes we have had our ups and downs but it has brought us closer together, keep up the wonderful work you are doing love you lots xxx
Dan i know he is an amazing dad to his children, and both jade and dan are brilliant parents. You are both so strong.
I think dan definitely deserves to win the inspirational award as he has been such an inspiration to everyone and especially his children.
Well done Dan.
Absolutely inspiration it’s a privilege to know both Dan and Jade who are my neighbours, they are both amazing individuals to have by your side, despite having their own problems they are the 1st to step up if you need anyone in any slightest way, a chat, advice a lending hand. I really hope Dan wins has he so deserves it. Well done Dan and even if you don’t win your still the winner in our eyes. Xx
Well done dan, very proud of you and jade xx
Dan you and jade are such an inspirational couple this is well deserved
I met Dan at a charity event he was so welcoming I was helping with the charity but wanted to speak to him about my loss , I don’t do that , but he sat and listened he got me into dwa and it’s changed my life he’s a great guy and speaking from experience farther of the year I’ve seen him with his two amazing daughters who should be very proud of him not only as a dad but as a person
I’ve known Danny since he moved next door to me, aged about 8. He comes from a fantastic loving family.
They moved many moons ago but we are still in touch.
He’s a fab husband father and mate.
They’ve been through more than enough. Much more than anyone deserves. But he’s a rock to all who know him. He has my vtoe. Xx
Dan,……. well, a big guy with a big heart.
I am honoured to call him a friend as he is a very special person.
I know how much they have toiled as a family during a very dark time and to come through the other side still as strong as ever, Is just pure testament to this man’s strength and love for his family.
I have never met anyone yet who didn’t like Dan or who spoke a wrong word about him.
He has my vote now and any day. A great bloke, great husband to Jade and a wonderful father to his children. My daughter loves him. You have already won in my eyes bud.
Speechless..what an inspiration you are, to turn something so tragic into a campaign to save others, thank you, you deserve this award, your campaigning following the loss of your daughter is a true testament of a father’s love.
Dan, in my opinion what you have done, and are still doing, cannot be measured by an award. It’s priceless. Until I walk a day in your shoes, I cannot fully understand what you have been through. it takes a very special person to turn his grief around to help others. Your message of hope, your willingness to share your grief to help others is an inspiration to us all.
This man inspires me he picks me up when I’m down n reminds me the good in myself in the most quirky ways ,
Yes definitely an amazing father I see the kindness and selflessness in him that I did in my step dad ,
Dan it’s not just children who have heroes adults can to and you are a hero to so many.
Your wife and beautiful well raised children who I can vouch for as I have met must be so proud of you , because I know I am
Dan & Jade,
We have known you for quite a few years now and proud to call you friends. You have both shown much integrity as well as enormous strength and a beacon to others. Inspirational Yes !!!! but you are both much much more…….
Idont know you personally but your children go to my boys school this is insperational your are fab parents and you both should be proud of yourself it takes some strength to go through what you have keep going and remember its ok to cry sometime much love xxx
If i’my struggling with my depression and not talking much – Dan will take time out of his own day to check i’m ok; and it doesn’t even have to be angel related. Dan has helped me through some tough times.
we recently lost a angel dan took the time to message us and offer his support even took the time to help us choose a name doesnt matter what time of day or night to help with our grief
What can I say Dan, I’ve seen what you’ve achieved and what you continue to do. You and jade have never given up no matter how many times there have been a obstacle you’ve overcome it. You do so much for so many people Dan and even when your at your lowest you still give without any thankyou. The strength you show is outstanding. you deserve this Dan with everything you do and will carrying on doing. Good luck 🙂
Have known Dan such a long time as we were at high school together.
Such an inspiration Dan x
Well done and Good Luck xx
Simply inspirational
Dan has put all his big heart into this he deserves it.
Dan is the man
After I joined DWA and made my 1st post Dan reached out to me and we talked for a while. I was in a bad place at the time but Dan pulled me up from there and let me know things would be OK in time.
Thank you brother
Dan is like an oversized eclair. Inside the dark, hard exterior is a soft centre. dan’s history is working in tough environment, making tough decisions But none of that could have prepared him for the worst experiences of his life. His straight talking sense of humour, akin to mine ;). has helped him achieve much needed guidelines for UVC’s he, like any other challenge he has faced took it head on. Dan is one of The DWA admin team/support workers and his mix of common sense, straight talking and sense of humour enables him to effectively guide and support DWA members. he has my vote , he is worthy of winning this award, so give him your vote too
I av known both Dan and Jade for years, since before Charlie Jane was born. I am so proud to call him a friend after all the things life has thrown at the as a family he has kept them together with jade. They areally exceptional. After the birth and sadly death of little Isabella Hope they together fought to save others experiencing what they went and still r going through. Dan deserves recognition in the shape of this award. Xx
Dan is everything the word inspirational stand for , Dan you are a great man and a amazing father , and a amazing friend
You are an inspiration for all the angel dads in the world. Thank you for all the kind words you have said and helping me through this tough time.
Hi me an my husband are goin through the same at the moment as we had twins an 1 was sadly neglected at the hospital and passed away under different curcumstancies but by failts at the hospital ours is goin to inquest next month (october) too ur story was just like reading the nighmare were goin through at the minuite so sorry for ur loss 🙁 if we can get intouch an have a chat that would be nice
Samantha, when we have a loss the trauma is unimaginable to anyone who hasn’t experienced it no matter what the circumstances. Of course I will be happy to chat with you especially about the inquest and how that will affect you both emotionally and moving forward. If you could request to join the Daddys With Angels families group and your hubby to the Dads group I can contact you both and hopefully you will find a little comfort on the path we all share. Dan x
Dan, you and your partner have done an amazing thing and you should both be very very proud xx
Just heard your story and I want to say I’m truly amazed, if only this world had more people like you!
As the voting comes to a close please let me say thank you for all the messages and votes, not just for me but all the nominees involved. It’s very humbling when all we are doing is making our way day to day dealing with our losses yet we somehow manage to help others along the way. These awards raise the awareness of child loss and that can only be a hugely great thing to do.
The work continues, it will always continue in our case for Isabella and the Angels we never got to meet but for one night we will share an evening with a couple of my heroes and raise a glass to the little ones that sadly brought us all here.
Thank you so much from both Jade and myself, you’re all awesome