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My Plea:

My name is Pete and I live in West Yorkshire with my wife Emily, our second baby Reuben and our doggy Holly the cavapoo.

This is my story as a Dad that has experienced baby loss and the joy of having a rainbow baby. I want this to hopefully help other Dad’s that are going through the same heartbreaking situation.

On October 29th 2016 our daughter Poppy Evie-Ann was born at 16:37.

We’d always wanted children and after counting down the months and preparing for her arrival she was finally here in the world with us. Our first born, our beautiful baby daughter. She was so small and yet so perfect.But we didn’t meet her together, we didn’t have the moment of undeniable joy that you get when your baby is born.

Poppy was born via emergency caesarean after she was discovered to be in distress. She didn’t breathe for 15 minutes. She was rushed onto the Neo-Natel ward and prepared to be transferred to another hospital. The first time I laid eyes on her was a blur as she was rushed passed me. The first time Emily laid eyes on her it was 8 hours later while she was in an incubator.

Poppy was transfered to Leeds where we discovered she had a devastating brain injury due to a lack of oxygen during labour. We spent 2 days by her bedside, hoping, wishing her to be ok. Heartbreakingly we were told Poppy wasn’t going to make it. We spent one more day together. Creating memories. Hoping this wasn’t going to happen.

Poppy became our star in the sky on 31st October 2016, and our lives changed forever.

Just over a year after we lost our darling daughter Poppy, her little brother and our rainbow baby arrived into the world. On November 9th 2017 at 13:38 Reuben Oliver Charles was born. Poppy had kept him safe for 37 week in Emily’s womb. She had looked over us and made sure her little brother entered the world safely.

Our second baby was here. He was beautiful. This was how it should have been with Poppy.

Reuben is here with us, our rainbow baby. Our light in the darkness. Our much longed for baby boy and little brother for Poppy.

He is amazing, turning into such an incredible little boy.

My blog is one of my ways of including Poppy and Reuben together in all that we see and do. They will always be siblings. Our 2 babies. This is so Reuben knows how special he is and so he knows how amazing his big sister is. This is so Poppy knows you is never going to be forgotten. Always in our thoughts andforever in our hearts.

I’ve always wanted to write my thoughts, my feelings about my my life has become. A blog about loss, navigating life after loss, driving down the road that is parenthood, a way to bring both my children together in a way I can and to create a legacy for Poppy. A blog that can help other parent going through the same heartbreak. To raise awareness and help break the silence around baby loss.

What others have said:

“Daddy to Poppy and Rueben, Pete is very publicly navigating life after loss and parenting a rainbow. Poppy was born on the 28th of October, 2016. She passed away just three days later. One sentence that really stuck out for me when reading Pete’s blog was that he said “I just got my shit together, I had to” … it rings so true for many of us who are going through difficult times.  He is, without a doubt, an amazingly inspiring father and deserves the recognition of this award.”