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Plea:

Hi My name is Sam, I have two beautiful children my Son Finley who fly’s high in the Sky watching over his little rainbow sister, our Daughter Mia

This is my story, March 2014 we arrive in America, two weeks in Disney I was so excited, after a few days there I noticed I was feeling a little sick, there were certain smells I just couldn’t stand, I just thought it was a bug but my mother in law knew these signs and the knitting patterns had already started in her head, but me I just thought no don’t be silly I can’t be pregnant??

On Returning to England I was still feeling the same, so I did a test. I saw the Doctor and yes we were having a baby. My fiancé, now husband, was in total shock and, like all men, went into panic mode, but I knew he was going to make an a amazing father. The weeks went on, everything was just going perfect, at 20 weeks we knew we were going to have a little boy, I was attending my pregnant together group were I met my Midwife Nikki. Little did I know she would soon be a massive part of our live’s. I literally had the perfect pregnancy.

It was very early hour’s on Saturday 25th October 2015, Finley’s due date, when I woke at around 1am. I just knew something was wrong, so I had a big cold drink and thought come on little man you’re quiet. This was odd as usually he was so, so active, so off to the hospital we dashed. From this point on I remember it all clear as day, those words, those absolute terrifying words, ” I’m sorry we can’t find a heartbeat”!!! At that point I screamed, a sound my husband will never forget.

Phoning our parents and family was heart breaking, but one thing I had to do was be brave for our SON, it wasn’t until the Monday 27th 2014 at 5.16pm that I gave birth naturally after 3 long days of being induced. Our amazingly gorgeous little Prince Finley Pattison-White popped out. The most sadness and most amazing moment ever, we finally got to see his face, we waited so long to see him, but how I longed for him to cry. Even then I prayed it was all just a dream, but Finley was and is perfect.

Going through this experience then, now and for the rest of my life has made me look at everything in a different way. Baby/child loss makes you this person you didn’t know existed, you get angry and sad but you have every right to, your baby is missing from your arms. But it’s also made me a strong mum and wife at the same time.

Finley has inspired me to help make a change to others life’s and raise awareness , because of him I was chosen to take part in Good Morning Britain’s “Tough Mum’s” on ITV this year. I have done a few charity runs too and as a Family, Myself, Husband and My Dad have raised over £4500 for Tommy’s. I’ve also bravely done a reading at our local Sand’s group memorial service this summer and, when I can, I support other mum’s online by talking about my loss.

The greatest gift Finley has inspired me to do was to carry on, be a brave mummy, overcome my fears. He keeps me strong. Even when I felt like giving up, I didn’t because of him and he now has a beautiful little sister Mia.. and I thank him for this.

Finley, you really have made mummy and daddy so proud to let us call you our son. Not a day, minute or second goes by where we don’t think about you.
As your Mum I promise to inspire people to tell their stories, to be proud to speak their child’ s/babies name and most importantly raise awareness about Child/Baby Loss

We Love you Always Finley xxxxxx

What others have said:

All I could think about was how Samantha was going to cope with the physical and psychological effects of this traumatic experience. Samantha has been amazing and shown great courage whilst dealing with the emotions of guilt,anger,jealousy. She has helped other mums who have gone through the same loss by being there for them . I couldn’t be more proud of her. She is my hero.