Name: Gemma  Morgan

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Award Category: Volunteer Of The Year

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My Plea:

In October 2015 we received the worst news of our lives. I had a serious infection which had led to acute sepsis and premature labour and my beautiful babies were on their way. It couldn’t be true, it was far too early, and the hospital had said the babies wouldn’t make it because they were very poorly as well as extremely premature (in their words, which really hurt, my babies weren’t ‘viable’). The days that followed were the most difficult and painful of my entire life.

Archie and Ayla came into the world on Monday 26th October weighing a tiny 530 grams (Archie) & 445 grams (Ayla) and I was whizzed off to theatre and then straight to ICU. I didn’t get to meet them until the following day. They were small but absolutely perfect. My heart was broken into a million pieces and I had no idea how I was going to get through it.

The nursing and midwifery staff at the Royal Bolton Hospital were amazing, so professional and helpful. We definitely felt like they went above and beyond their jobs to care for us and our babies. We were able to have the babies by our bedside during our stay in a cold cot. My husband who was an absolute rock felt uncomfortable with the cold cot, but I was just grateful to be able to spent time with them.

After five days there I was allowed to go home. I panicked, how could I leave the hospital without my babies? How could I leave with empty arms? The hospital had given us a memory box during our time there and they had used the contents to create memories of our babies that we will treasure forever. This is something we would never have thought to do in that situation, and I clung to the little box all the way home.

Once home I started to look through the box and discovered it was donated by a charity called 4Louis. I felt the need to contact them to thank them for the box and the memories it enabled us to make. The reply from 4Louis was from Bob and I immediately felt like he understood what we were going through and his offer of support if I ever needed it came at just the right time.

I’d tried speaking to other charities but didn’t feel comfortable enough to open up. Bob was amazing from day one and continues to be amazingly supportive, along with all of the other people at 4Louis. He always knows the right thing to say and I could tell that he really understood what we were going through.

I mentioned to Bob that I would like to do some fundraising in memory of Archie and Ayla and wanted to donate a cold cot to the hospital where they were born. Bob suggested that a cuddle cot maybe a nicer option and as soon as he explained that it was a unit that fits into a moses basket and is much more comforting for parents we knew he was right. Bob kindly offered to arrange the purchasing and delivery of the cuddle cot to the hospital. He also arranged a plaque engraved with our babies’ names to put onto the cot. Nothing was too much trouble and he always knew exactly what to say.

I decided I wanted to arrange some events in the coming year to keep myself busy and also raise the money for the cot as soon as possible. I was absolutely overwhelmed by the support we received at our events and the money for the cuddle cot was raised before the start of 2016, barely two months after Archie & Ayla’s birth. I decided that I didn’t want to stop there; when I saw how much the fundraising was helping other people I found it really spurred me on to do more.

In the first year after losing Archie and Ayla I organised several events and managed to raise enough money to pay for the complete refurbishment of the bereavement room at the Royal Bolton Hospital. This meant a lot to us as, during our time in the hospital, the room was in a state of disrepair resulting in us spending a lot of time on the delivery suite, which as you can imagine adds to the heartbreak and distress of an already traumatic situation. Again 4Louis arranged for the work to be carried out and came and met us at the hospital to officially open the room. Their support throughout has been amazing and I don’t think I would have coped without them.

I can never repay 4Louis for everything they have done for me and my family but I decided that from then on I would hold a fundraising event every year, in memory of Archie and Ayla and donate all of the money raised to their amazing charity. This has become more challenging since returning to work and having 3 young children to look after. People often ask how I find the time to do the charity work. Life may be busy, but it is so important for me to give something back to the charity that helped me to get to where I am today; it has become my passion to help families coping with the loss of a baby and I will continue to support 4Louis by fundraising and raising their profile wherever possible.

I have been fundraising since 2015 and have so far raised over £20,000 in memory of Archie and Ayla by holding a variety of events including coffee mornings, race nights, family fun days and Christmas fairs. I’ve even stood outside a football ground in the rain with a collection bucket on a cold Tuesday night. I’ve found myself doing things I would never have imagined. At first even approaching businesses for raffle prizes was difficult, but I am now able to speak to people about my fundraising, why I am doing it and where the money goes to.

I never dreamt that I would organise events that people would travel miles to attend, organising stall holders and advertising as well as writing risk assessments and running stalls. I am certainly a different person to the person I was before I gave birth to Archie and Ayla. They have changed me for the better and volunteering is now my passion. Perhaps most surprising to me is that people have become aware of who I am, I have been contacted by so many ladies who have lost their babies and want to talk to me about their story or say that I have inspired them to do their own fundraising.

My husband and I also received a letter from our local MP congratulating us on our fundraising efforts and offering his help. We have been followed by the local press who have been very sensitive and supportive in sharing our fundraising efforts and I was even asked to do a radio interview about our fundraising events after being nominated by an old school friend. This was way out of my comfort zone but I was really proud of myself for doing it.

This year I’m holding Archie and Ayla’s Butterfly Ball on what would have been their 4th birthday and plans are already in place for a different event in 2020! I have had some lovely messages from the staff at Royal Bolton Hospital about how much our fundraising has helped families there as well as many messages from families who we have helped thanking us for the work we have done.

This makes it all worthwhile.

Nothing can ever bring back Archie and Ayla or replace the huge hole they have left in my heart, but knowing that through them we have brought some comfort to other families going through the same thing makes me feel very proud. Archie & Ayla may have been tiny but they have made an impact on the world, and as long as I am around they will never be forgotten.

What Others Have Said

After loosing Archie and Ayla,  Gemma threw herself into fundraising to support the 4Louis charity following the support they received. Raising over £20,000  since 2015, through various successful events. Gemma is considered a valuable volunteer and Ambassador for the charity.